I was Carolina born
And Carolina bred
And here I lay
Carolina dead!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Margaret Daniels
She always said
Her feet were killing her,
But nobody believed her.
~~ Hollywood~~
Cemetary,
Richmond,
Virginia
|
Anna Hopewell
Here lies the body
Of our Anna
Done to death
By a banana.
It wasn't the fruit
That laid her low,
But the skin of the thing
That made her go.
~~ Enosburg Falls, ~~
Vermont
|
Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
To see if the car
Was on the way down.
It was.
~~ Albany, ~~
New York
|
Dr. Fred Roberts,
Brookland, Arkansas
Office upstairs
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
East Dalhousie, ~~
Nova Scotia
|
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
~~ England ~~
|
John Penny
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
~~ England ~~
|
Mary Weary, Housewife
Here lies a poor woman who
Was always tired;
She lived in a house where help
was not hired.
Her last words on earth were:
"Dear friends, I am going,
Where washing ain't done,
Nor sweeping, no sewing:
But everything there is exact
to my wishes;
For where they don't eat
There's no washing of dishes...
Don't mourn for me now;
Don't mourn for me never -
I'm going to do nothing
For ever and ever.
~~ Belchertown ~~
|
36-33-01-24-17
Honey you don't know what
You did for me,
Always playing the lottery.
The numbers you picked came
In to play,
Two days after you passed away.
For this, a huge monument
I do erect,
For now I get a yearly check.
How I wish you were alive,
For now we are worth 8.5
Actual epitaph of
Elizabeth Rich,
Eufala,
Alabama
|
Here lies the body
Of poor Aunt Charlotte.
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For 16 years
She kept her virginity
A damn'd long time
For this vicinity.
~~ Death Valley, ~~
California
|
John Summer
An English Teacher who
Could not only
Spell the word
"Epitaph" correctly,
But also knew what it means.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies the body of
Edward Hyde.
We laid him here
because he died!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Quite well, I bet,
Since it's well fed
By her body decomposing below.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Beneath this stone
Lies a merry lass
Who aimed the brake
And hit the gas
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Under this stone
Lies Billy Joe Bob
Stealing chickens
Was his last job
~~ Unknown ~~
|
First a cough
That carried me off
Then in a coffin
They carried me off in
~~ Boston, ~~
Massachusetts
|
Once I wasn't
Then I was
Now I ain't again
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Hillaire Belloc (1870-1953)
Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The Politician's corpse
Was laid away.
While all of his acquaintance
Sneered and slanged,
I wept: for I had longed to
see him hanged.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
It does my heart
A world of good
To see you buried
In a box of wood
You slept with them all when
You were a-creepin'
Now you sleep alone
While worms start to seep in.
In loving memory from your
grieving widow...
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Ida Voider
She walked in beauty
Like the night -
Beware her now,
She's such a fright!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
When your razor is dull,
But you need a shave.
Think of the man
Who lies in this grave
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Any day above ground
Is a good day
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Rest in peace,
Dear Cousin Hewitt,
We all know
That you didn't do it.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
While living folks
My tomb do view,
Remember well -
There's room for you!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Farewell my young companions all
From death's arrest no age is free
Remember this, a warning call
Prepare to follow after me
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here I lie
It's no wonder I'm dead,
For the wheel of a semi
Rolled over my head.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Expert gardener Pete Moss
Is now enriching the soil
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
~~ Boot Hill Cemetery, ~~
Tombstone, Arizona
|
Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw
In Cripple Creek.
~~ Cripple Creek, ~~
Colorado
|
Dear Sweet Leota
Beloved by All
In Regions Beyond Now
But Having a Ball
~~ Unknown ~~
|
"That's All Folks"
MEL BLANC
Man of 1000 Voices
Beloved Husband and Father
1908 - 1989
|
He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair
~~ Colorado ~~
|
This graveyard has cameras
And alarms on the props,
Disturbing the contents
Will summon the cops.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
